Bringing Conflict to the Table

In the home I grew up in, we did not fight or argue. At least, that's what my grandma told me. What we actually did was push anything that resembled conflict out of sight, under the rug and pretended it had never happened. But it had happened. And because it was never addressed, it festered.

What made this even harder was that when I did try to bring something up, my mother would retreat to her bedroom and lock the door. I'd knock and plead with her to talk it through, and she wouldn't answer. By the next day, everything was bright and cheerful again, as if nothing happened. But I had been shut down completely, with no resolution and no room to be heard.​

So when I learned that one of my favorite authors was writing a book about conflict, I was thrilled, because honestly, I still don't know much about how to do it well. The only tool I've developed on my own is this: wait 24 hours before addressing anything that doesn't sit right.

That author is Priya Parker, and her new book, already a bestseller just a week after release, is called The Art of Fighting: The Transformative Power of Conflict. She's the same author behind the wonderful The Art of Gathering.

This new book makes the case for engaging in meaningful conflict rather than avoiding it. Parker argues that when we address conflict honestly, we grow closer to the people in our lives. We live more deeply and more truthfully.

I feel fortunate that my partner, Jordan, came into my life 13 years ago with a simple philosophy: never let anything fester. Bring it to the table. Let's talk about it. That approach has been a gift, one I didn't grow up with but have come to rely on. We're planning to read this book together as our relationship continues to grow and deepen, conflict included.​

It's a book I think everyone should read.

Joanie Parsons
Founder/Adventurist of RevelEleven